I am very thankful to say that God allowed me to make a mission trip to Guatemala with some friends at the end of April and God confirmed so much during that time. I came into this trip like I do alot of the time sadly, doubting/questioning if God has truly called us to full-time ministry or is this something that I've just come up with on my own? I worry about my big kids that will be here and those that will be going with us. Worrying is wrong and I don't want that in my life but, being honest it's something that consumes me at times or it did. For a long time I have felt God calling our family to Guatemala and even though God has opened door in such a way that even friends see that it's HIM calling us I still doubt. Maybe my faith is shaky or maybe just maybe I am indeed scared.
God opened some doors for us on this trip and even in those times I would still doubt. Some of our friends that we will be serving with contacted me and asked if we would like to stay in their house because they were in the process of moving. Little did they know their's is the house Michael and I wanted but, knew that wouldn't happen. Well, I jumped on that offer and there we were on Monday in the home that I asked God for. So, why oh why would I continue to doubt?
I got up Tuesday morning and took my shower before we went to serve with Hope for Home. More about that AMAZING day coming SOON!!! Like I've done previous times I took my book and sermon notes and placed them on the floor and took my clothes and put everything back on top. After I returned from my shower I saw a card sitting on my suitcase. I assumed it was the ladies card from the market but, wasn't sure why it would be there. I got closer and saw this.............
God know your purpose. Do you? "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a purpose." Jeremiah 29:11
I asked April if she put that there and she said no and then I went and asked Doris and Diane and they said no too. Then I got teary eyed and couldn't believe my own eyes. In all honesty I felt jittery inside. It was like God was saying why oh why do you doubt me my child. I know your purpose and so do you. It was my smile from God to just keep going. :)
As if that wasn't enough, the exact same bathroom that I had been getting ready in had this flower vase in it. It wasn't until later that evening that I came in eye contact with it. It was like God was saying yes, Kelly this is where you are suppose to be. Another sweet smile from God. Come to find out this "vase" was actually a perfume bottle. My friend tried to get the top off to make it into a vase and couldn't until she threw it in the trash. Once she did they lid broke off and then there was a vase. I kind of think God allowed that to happend so, I could see it. HE knows I need reassurance at times. In awe that my heavenly daddy LOVES me that much!!!!!
One of the things that thrilled me about staying in this home was the thought of preparing my first meal in Guatemala. Yes, I'm weird but, to me it was like Guatemala was really becoming home. Each morning I would get ready and go downstairs to cook breakfast for my friends as they were finishing up getting ready. I had a certain JOY about me cooking each morning. Maybe it was because I was cooking in another place or maybe it was because I could see myself cooking for my family here. Again, not sure why but, I just remember being really happy. Well, this morning was no different. I started cooking and went over to the sink to wash my hands. I look down and on the tag is written.....MADISON. I started crying and thanking my heavenly daddy. I mean what in the world are the chances that MY GIRLS name would be written on a tag IN Guatemala!!!!!! God just knew I needed some more confirmation of what HE was calling us too and HE definitely showed me. You see Madison is our 15 yo daughter and I have been worried about how she is going to handle this move. She's leaving her friends, family, country and language. She isn't thrilled and honestly I can't think of many 15 yo girls that would be. But, in that moment God smiled down and told me that she is going to be okay. Deep down in my heart I know everything is going to be okay because God is FAITHFUL!!! HE would not bring us this far and not take care of our girls sweet and precious heart. All God is asking is for us to walk faithfully in obedience on the path that HE has directed.
There are so many other things that I can tell you that have occurred not only on that trip but, even before it and YES even after. So, why oh why do I doubt??? Please, Lord forgive me when I doubt. I could NEVER imagine something like this for my life. Thank you for calling a tired messed up family like ours to do your will. I am in awe.
Learning more and more to remain confident in what God has called us to,
Kelly
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